Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Bits & Pieces
Articles with unfiltered opinions
Dick Picks
In the age of social media and online dating, the rules aren’t the same. Dating apps have bred a culture of constant hookups. If you’re a smooth dude, you can use Tinder to have a new woman every night, but what about the not-so-smooth dudes?...
Stripping For Two
About a year back ThatOregonLife.com “reported” that a new club called Baby Bumpers was opening in the Springfield, Oregon, area. The club’s gimmick was to have women who were at least six months’ pregnant dancing onstage. But while research...
Princess Killjoy
American’s sense of “victory” gets cheaper every day. Take former Gary Hart lap warmer Donna Rice Hughes. The president and CEO of Enough Is Enough (EIE), a nonprofit organization dedicated to making “the internet safer for children and...
Grim Business
Yee-haw! If you’re in the funeral business, keep your eyes peeled on a lawsuit under review in the Lone Star State. Last year Texas health officials adopted a draconian statute requiring that “fetal remains” be disposed of by cremation or...
Strip Club Rules
According to Page Six, senior Trump campaign staff advisers Jason Miller and A.J. Delgado invited media from several networks to hang out at the Sapphire Las Vegas strip club the night before the final Presidential debate. No big deal! Trump won the...
Trickle-Down Politics
According to an intelligence report released by BuzzFeed, the Russian government “has been cultivating, supporting and assisting Trump for at least five years,” and Trump and “his inner circle have accepted a regular flow of...
Planet Porn
University students in search of a thesis, rejoice! For the third year Pornhub has gazed deeply into its navel and released analytics that shed XXX light on 2016. To wit: • Collectively, just on Pornhub, humans around the planet spent...
How Far They’ll Go
Disney will literally sue anyone over copyright and trademark infringement. Hell, they even filed a complaint in California federal court against some dude in Michigan for selling “unlicensed and counterfeit edible cake frosting sheets and related...
Brace Yourself
Braces hold a certain cringe factor when it comes to blowjobs, but where some imagine metal scraping skin, others see an opportunity for sexual pleasure. Kuang-Yi, a multidisciplinary researcher, earned his degree as a doctor of dental surgery in...
Lame Duck Fucks
What the fuck, Ohio? While the rest of the country was sniggering at the need for your state to pass an anti-bestiality bill (it’s not exactly an epidemic), State GOP lawmakers came in under the wire to pad the bill with some fairly...
Perversion Conversion
If you have enough money, you can get seated at any table. Take, for instance, Donald Trump’s pick for secretary of the Department of Education, Betsy “My Teeth Are Whiter Than Yours” DeVos. She’s never worked in public education,...
Mind Fuck
A Canadian study has found another benefit to penis-in-pussy action. Researchers from McGill University recently published an article—“Frequency of Penile-Vaginal Intercourse is Associated with Verbal Recognition Performance in Adult...
Johnny Wad Kennedy
High on Election Day adrenaline, MSNBC’s Chris Matthews shocked and titillated a panel of nebbish cohosts by offhandedly remarking that John F. Kennedy once visited a porn theater to blow off election-eve stress. “There’s something about the...
Lust in Translation
#OneMoreCoolThingJapanHasThatWeDon’t: a titty contest judged “from a female perspective.” Sadly, HUSTLER’s Japanese translators have been out sick all month, but between Twitter, YouTube and RocketNews24.com (a reliable source if there ever...
Well-Fucked Planet
Earth Day—a vapid, made-up holiday celebrated by self-congratulatory idiots who believe that turning organic baby food jars into candle votives and participating in drum circles will Make a Difference and Save the Planet. It’s easy to mock...
Hello, Slattern
Like a lot of media, HUSTLER did not wake up in time to smell the funeral. Most of us came in to work on November 9, 2016, dazed and confused. “Donald Trump’s Victory Proves That America Hates Women,” announced Slate. “Donald Trump Is...
Big Pussies
Leave it to Donald Trump, aka Cheeto Jesus, aka The Face Without a Man, to ruin a perfectly wonderous word: pussy. In case you missed it (if you did, consider yourself blessed): A few weeks before the U.S. Presidential election, the Washington Post...
Mississippi Mud
Three cheers for the five bufuing freedom fighters who recently filed a federal class action lawsuit against Mississippi for its ass-backwards sodomy laws. (What is sodomy? We’re glad you asked! Strictly speaking, sodomy defines certain sex acts,...
Love Is a Battlefield
Sixty years too late for John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage, we pay homage this month to folks who’ve braved shame and humiliation to get themselves to the emergency room, after an initial failure to exercise what some might call...
Fucking & Football
The word prostitution just doesn’t pack the moral outrage that it used to. So if you’re looking to upset people, try the phrase “sex trafficking.” Along with all the other dubious traditions that go along with Super Bowl Sunday, media...
The Orgasm Lady
Firliana Purwanti, who also goes by The Orgasm Lady, has worked hard over the past several years, empowering Indonesian women to embrace their sexuality. What’s the big deal? “Womyn” have been celebrating themselves and their goddamn orgasms...
